14 Signs you had emotionally immature parents

Emily Pfannenstiel, LPC, LMHC

“Although we’re accustomed to thinking of grown-ups as more mature than their children, what if some sensitive children come into the world and within a few years are more emotionally mature than their parents, who have been around for decades? What happens when these immature parents lack the emotional responsiveness necessary to meet their children’s emotional needs? The result is emotional neglect, a phenomenon as real as any physical deprivation.” - Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Your parents may have been emotionally immature if they often…

1. Overreacted to minor things

2. Were irritated by different points of view

3. Said or did things without thinking

4. Engaged in black and white thinking

5. Acted defensively

They didn’t…

6. Provide empathy, attention, or emotional awareness

7. Self-reflect, see their role in problems

8. Act as a confidant for you

9. Discuss feelings, engage in emotional closeness

Additionally they…

10. Were inconsistent

11. Were unhelpful, or would become angry or sarcastic if you were upset

12. Had strong opinions, regardless of facts

13. Didn’t engage your world or successes

14. Were self-centered

According to Dr. Gibson (2015), “many of your parent’s puzzling behaviors will start to make sense when you see them in the light of emotional immaturity." It is from this understanding that you can start the process of healing from parental emotional immaturity.