Why therapy is one of the best investments you can make

Emily Pfannenstiel, LPC, LMHC

A financial planner I dated in a past life once told me that the most critical investments you can make are in your education and your home. And while these things are undeniably important, I believe that investing in you is of unparalleled worth. What I mean by investing in you is that you should be nourishing your mind, your body, and your spirit. Every day. What can owning a beautiful home and accomplishing a college education do for you if all is not right within?

I once truly believed that if I accomplished all of my goals, I would be guaranteed happiness. It was only after I was accepted to, and attending, a graduate program at an Ivy League school that I came to realize I was still dissatisfied—and that I needed to change. During the several years prior, my weight yo—yo’d about twenty pounds on the regular, and it seemed like I was always facing some new and unexpected trauma. But it wasn’t until I had achieved my greatest goal yet—getting my Master’s degree at Columbia (in counseling, no less)—that I finally found my butt in an extended stay in the client’s side of the therapy room. It was there that my education really began.

Here’s what I learned:

I learned that trying to be perfect was tearing me apart.

I thought if I could hold it all together and make everything look good on paper (or Instagram), I would feel good too. Sort of a “fake it ‘til you make it” mindset, if you will. Turns out that’s not how it works when it comes to happiness. I learned that happiness actually comes from learning to let go, and that my “imperfections” are what actually make me—me. I’m still working on dismantling my perfectionistic tendencies, but every day I feel a little bit more free, and damn does that feel good.

I learned that I need to meditate.

Not only was I not taking care of my body; I was not taking care of my mind. I literally felt like my brain was broken. My thoughts were running constantly—I could not stop thinking. But my thinking was not productive. It was destroying me. I hit an all—time low when I was taking anxiety medications multiple times a day just to make it to bedtime (at which point I couldn’t sleep anyway). I realized I could not live like this anymore. My therapist suggested that I start meditating, and though I thought it sounded crazy, I was willing to try anything. And so I reached out to an expert. Thanks to the magical wonders of the Internet, I was able to connect with Harvard’s meditation advisor, Kassi Underwood, and she has been coaching me in healing my mind ever since. She taught me to begin by sitting still for one minute per day, and to gradually take it up from there. Turns out one minute was all I needed to start to slow down my thoughts and regain some control of my life.

Therapy taught me to have better boundaries.

I never realized how much I struggled with boundaries until I started exploring the issue with my therapist. I had a hard time saying no. I overextended myself for those around me, while rarely conveying my needs in return. The result? An exhausted spirit. I was not protecting my energy, and I only had myself to blame. In therapy, I was able to investigate what I really wanted, and found myself expressing these desires to the people in my life. I was surprised to find that when I communicated my expectations, people were more likely to meet them (I know, I know). But really, it felt amazing—and so I started to express my needs on the regular. Now I’m a thousand times more confident when it comes to advocating for myself, and I have therapy to thank for that.

I learned that therapy helps me to be a better friend.

Friends are a fantastic source of support. And I’m thankful to say I pretty much have the best friends a girl could ask for: they would literally go to the ends of the Earth to be there for me. And as much as I love them for this, I also know that dumping too much of your emotional baggage onto friends is a toxic trait. If you rely on your friends for every. single. crisis—and trust me, when your brain feels broken, crises can occur daily— you will quickly exhaust your supportive resources. This is where therapy can be a great outlet. Your therapist is paid (a lot) to listen to your problems and to help you work through them. They are trained experts in dealing with heavy emotional issues. Beyond that, most therapists love the work that they do. So take it from me, and pile on your problems. Free up your friendships for more positive interactions. They’ll thank you. Trust me.

Lastly, therapy is for everyone.

Life stops for no one, and so it’s not surprising that people may find a need for therapy at various times throughout their lives. But really, people can benefit from counseling at any stage: psychotherapy is one of the greatest investments you can make in yourself. The skills and insight you will gain in therapy will stay with you forever, and will enhance your life in ways you have yet to even imagine. People who go to therapy have an edge on the rest of the world because they have learned to face themselves and to manifest a better version—leaps and bounds closer to who they hope to become. So what’s stopping you? Investing in yourself is the only thing that yields guaranteed returns for life.